The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. I repeat I am plural! 5. *Siri activates front camera*. 36. "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". 10. What to Say When Someone Calls You Cute? - Beezzly Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? I dont blame you, Ive had it up to my neck with annoying, repetitive, shallow everyday questions and I often respond with something funny, silly, or sarcastic to make it known. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. Heart-shattering. It's Okay. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. I never even listen when you tell me them. The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. 14. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. Better than most, but maybe not as well as others. 43. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. I don't want to give off the wrong impression.". Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. 88. The hottest single of the year is me. This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. A little bit worse now that youve asked. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. Because they are already taking their time. Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". 1. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. Then the worms eat you. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. Everyone has a different sense of humor. 77. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. 54 Exciting What If Questions - Best Ways You'll Love Fun - Mantelligence Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! 86. Then I hope you find someone whos good looking, honest, smart, and cultured. This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. 24. 65. Impressive! If I was any better, vitamins would be taking me. Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. When someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel like an empire could have risen and fallen in that time. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. 22. "See, I will finally make you smile.". They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. The government? Chuck Bass? 100. Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. Funny as phuck. #maudit # peter o'toole # happy birthdayyy # im glad youre still alive. Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. Why would you talk to someone at their convenience when they wouldnt speak to you when you needed them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_2',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. 100+ Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" It is a basic courtesy that when one of your leads converts to a paying customer, you demonstrate your gratitude and make their transfer as smooth as possible. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. Do you have a minute? is perfect for lunch-time banter with colleagues. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? We all grow up as we get older. Best 45 seconds of my life. This is a good response to throw out there. This one is a bit long. Image: wikimedia commons 6. You want to make them laugh, not yell. Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. It's all about confidence. Is everything stable at your end? Stop joking! Im telling you, the trash gets taken out more than me. Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. 13. 14. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. 4. Well, seeing as you care, how long do you have? Not so much. Because apparently, you need to go outside and talk to people to date. [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. It must have been a long, lonely journey. Dont get caught with nothing to say. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? I'm happy! What an impertinent question to ask a girl! The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. I only fall in love with anime characters. Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans. Then you die. Opposites attract, right? 1. Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. 67 Of The Most Hilarious Responses To Public Notices Ever Siri, why am I still single? For instance, have you hooked up since you've broken up? Maybe I am a kindergartner? If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. 50. So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. . I love you. funny response to are you still alive - hazrentalcenter.com Because a single-storey is much more economical than a double-storey. Is my relationship status a joke to you?! Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. Who knows, they might just do it. 4. I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. But, because they have taken so long to reply, you have grown older and wiser. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! funny response to are you still alive. 10. Im not single. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. 54. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. Looking at my life, half the time I see that I don't live half of what I should! The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. My standards are higher than what Ive seen lately. Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah.. Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. 61. 52. Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). How are you? could be much more than a basic question, but we tend to stick to the same old, half-hearted responses. 1. I just adore my own company. 16. How are you? response, because I need clarity in my interactions. Oh, well 8. 5. Which one you use would depend on particular circumstances, but in the example you gave, I think "still alive" probably works best. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. Tom Lehrer - Wikipedia I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? Does the new one work any better? Everyone wants me, but no one dares! 2 I ask for your birth chart one time, and suddenly, I'm a mind-reading witch that knows what you're thinking. Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. I cant complain, not that anyone listens anyway. My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. " Actually, you're mad" is a version of the classic, rhetorically sophisticated comeback "I'm rubber, you're glue." This one is the white-belt level of "who's mad?" martial arts a simple. Im jealous of people who dont know you. 18. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. 35 Best Texts to Respond to a Date that has Ghosted You Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. I dont know. There is nothing wrong with responding with a funny or witty remark if youre getting annoyed with repetitive questions. Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. Hmmph. Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. If they are not going to reply, perhaps the archaeologists who discover their phone will. 82. As for me, I cant even afford honey! The Nine Canonical Responses to 'U Mad,' the - Intelligencer Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. 15. Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. 5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. Here's another way to respond to your crush. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? Because if you are, youre doing it right. I like being single. What could go wrong? 76 Best Replies and Answers to How Are You Doing? - Trending Us This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. Have you met food? Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. 3. parkerbilly 3 yr. ago. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. Are you alive? - Random Answers - Fanpop 382 Likes, 344 Comments. Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. Its too small to be out there all alone. Just so you know, I value me time over we time. Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. Congratulations, sir. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. The only thing offending me right now is your face. 8. To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. 66. Dont let your mind wander. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. You may have noticed that I take a step back when we talk. 101 Savage, Good Comebacks for Every Witty, Funny or Rude - LovePanky What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. My psychiatrist says that I shouldnt discuss it with strangers. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. 18. Life is up to something. Socioeconomically? What to say when your crush asks how you are? Getting better with every passing second. Then they throw dirt in your face. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. Whats with all these questions? Do you have a minute? Elon Musk targets Sen. Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. 12. Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. Whats a funny way to respond to the question 'Are you still alive?' Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. (Act suspicious of everything and everyone!). The friendly ghost would never leave you hanging. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? Your hair looks great! Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. You win the internet. Living the dream! "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." Lord Byron (poet) They might even steal it to use in the future. All rights reserved. You speak as if youre not single yourself! Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. Want to equip yourself with more responses? Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon.